I went back to work this week after taking almost 2 weeks off for moving from California to Oregon. Going back to work actually was harder than I thought.
It was not because of the office location. It did not take me too long to find my office. I had been to Oregon site a couple times before to support the last platform my group built. Although it had been a couple years back, once I was in the parking lot, some of the stuff started to come back. In addition, it was always easy to follow the flow. If you saw someone walking certain directions, it was not too far from where you needed to go as well.
It was not because my stuff was not there to wait for me in my cube. I sort of expected it. After all, it was my first day. It did took me a while to locate them. I almost had to call Sacramento to ask the shipping where they sent the stuff. The admin was helpful enough to have another man to help me to move all my boxes to my cube. Finally I was back to the cubical life. A small cube among strangers. After the computers were turned on, that is when my real stress started.
The stress came from my work. After all, I haven't touched my stuff for almost 2 weeks. I was behind. I was not just a little bit behind the schedule. I was very much behind. Everyday, I arrived at work before 8 and forced to leave after 5, since I needed to pick kids up from the expensive childcare. Then I would work from at least between 9 - 12 if not more. Come to think about it, if I did not get the childcare taking care of, I would be in even bigger trouble. With my working "ethic" getting better, my tempter got worse. Small things at home got me every time. Steve is also very busy. He is behind of his schedule. Why I am not surprised? At Intel, it seems everyone is always trying to catch up. But my question was who should do more things at home?
Sometimes I wonder why I go to work. Of course, as usual, there are many reasons. When I was young, it was because I thought that women can be as a good of an engineer as men; because I could do it. Then I had children, I wondered if I should quite, because it was so hard to be tired all the time. However, when I realized that taking care of a baby was so much work, I decided being a working woman was easier. I always admit to people that stay home moms have harder job because they almost never have their own time.
This week because I was so stressed out from work, because I had no friend to talk to, I understood one thing. Friendship makes a world difference in one's life. I truly understood why Shannon did not want to move away. It is so hard to live in a place that you have none of your familiar people that you talk to all the time. I miss all my friends so much! I miss my routine life, my boot camp classes, everything I had set to do everyday. Steve looked at me and said that we could pack back up and move back. haha... I know that he was joking, but it was not funny. I understood why I have to work. I met my two long lasting friends at work: Vicky and Nancy. I was IMing my friend Vicky yesterday. She moved to Boston back 2002 when Intel was trying to lay her off. She still remembered her loneliness when she just moved there in the middle of winter. That was so many years ago. Nancy said to me that she still remembered many years ago, the first time Vicky and her saw me outside Level One parking lot, we were meant to be friends. We laughed about that a lot, because it was the day I went to interview with Level One and they had fire drill. Nancy and Vicky were standing at the parking lot eying me. We were young and none of us were married. Nancy did not want me to forget about it when I left Sacramento. I won't...
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Searching for church 1
Since we have arrived for a week, Steve was ready to find a church for us and the kids. This morning we went to visit this church at Oak Hill. Maybe it is called Oak Hill church or Church of Oak Hill. The pastor is someone Ron knows and asked him to check on us. Thank you, Ron for thinking about us. The place is a church, not a rented school or theater, with long uncomfortable wooden benches, Bible behind the benches for people to access. It reminded me the Catholic church I went several times with Madeline, my host mother in Alaska.
It was a very traditional church. Today's message was about fear God. We were late as usual... The church started at 9:30 am. It is awfully early for the Bruss family. So we missed their morning social, if they had any. We searched for the place for kids to go and discovered that besides infants, kids that younger than 2nd grade will come after the announcement, the rest of the kids stay with adults. The kids were bored. Darian was happy when he was called away. Justin did not know what to do with himself the whole time. I don't think he heard a thing from the pastor.
We were guided to a place to sit. I looked around. The church was reasonable sized and with lots of windows on both sides. On the left side, there was a kids play place. On the left side, there was a big park. Today the Sun was shinning, a very good day to be out. All of sudden, it came to me that I no longer sitting in the comfortable seat of a theater with people that I know so well. There is no cup holder that Ron is so proud of. I was sitting in a strange place with all the strangers around me. The feeling was so overwhelming that I did not know how to handle it. I was upset. I disliked this church and disliked everything about this church. The songs were so formal that I did not feel much. The preaching was so scripture like that I could have read it myself.
Afterwards, I was so unhappy that I could not stop complaining to Steve. What made me even more upset was that Steve did not feel how I felt. Yes, there were things he dislike, such as Justin was bored to death. However, he did not have so much things again the church. Why men are so different from women?
Apparently it is a shared church. After their session, they have to move out to allow a Korean church to prepare for their stuff. All of sudden among the white color people (did I tell you it was all white people church?), yellow color people started to show up a little bit at time. The funny part was they ignored the whole church members. When they saw me, they nodded their heads as how they were greeting each other. So I had to nod my head a lot. So finally I had to leave the church because I don't want to be mistaken as a Korean (can't speak the langurage). I also did not want to be impolite when people were nodding heads towards me. It is true people feel so much more comfortable with their own kind. I even can pretend to be a Korean once for a while.
It was a very traditional church. Today's message was about fear God. We were late as usual... The church started at 9:30 am. It is awfully early for the Bruss family. So we missed their morning social, if they had any. We searched for the place for kids to go and discovered that besides infants, kids that younger than 2nd grade will come after the announcement, the rest of the kids stay with adults. The kids were bored. Darian was happy when he was called away. Justin did not know what to do with himself the whole time. I don't think he heard a thing from the pastor.
We were guided to a place to sit. I looked around. The church was reasonable sized and with lots of windows on both sides. On the left side, there was a kids play place. On the left side, there was a big park. Today the Sun was shinning, a very good day to be out. All of sudden, it came to me that I no longer sitting in the comfortable seat of a theater with people that I know so well. There is no cup holder that Ron is so proud of. I was sitting in a strange place with all the strangers around me. The feeling was so overwhelming that I did not know how to handle it. I was upset. I disliked this church and disliked everything about this church. The songs were so formal that I did not feel much. The preaching was so scripture like that I could have read it myself.
Afterwards, I was so unhappy that I could not stop complaining to Steve. What made me even more upset was that Steve did not feel how I felt. Yes, there were things he dislike, such as Justin was bored to death. However, he did not have so much things again the church. Why men are so different from women?
Apparently it is a shared church. After their session, they have to move out to allow a Korean church to prepare for their stuff. All of sudden among the white color people (did I tell you it was all white people church?), yellow color people started to show up a little bit at time. The funny part was they ignored the whole church members. When they saw me, they nodded their heads as how they were greeting each other. So I had to nod my head a lot. So finally I had to leave the church because I don't want to be mistaken as a Korean (can't speak the langurage). I also did not want to be impolite when people were nodding heads towards me. It is true people feel so much more comfortable with their own kind. I even can pretend to be a Korean once for a while.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Montessori School
This morning (9/11, Saturday) we went to Justin and Darian's new school - Montessori School of Beaverton (MSB). It is a new parents orentation, target at people who is new to the school. Steve and I were lucky because we had CJ (my friend Shelley's 16 year-old boy as a baby-sitter). So we went together.
It is really a beautiful school, which located at half way in a hill (which I don't know the name yet). Each of the classroom has its' own backyard growing things. Then further back of the school is the forest. There was a stream somewhere as well, lots of birds and giant banana slugs (according to Justin, he is really good at finding them). The school is built by private fund and for non-profit. I wonder how that works out for a private school? The school is extramely proud of themselves as a pure Montessori school. They probably should be, since I haven't found another one "purer". They insist that no daycare is provided at school site because they want the kids to have the sense that when they come to school, it is a place to learn. In a way, I understand. The Montessori classroom is so unique that it is hard to have the classroom confused with after school. Since they are non-profit school, it is hard to build more rooms at the site. They had a vision for how many students are enough. They really don't want to be any bigger than they are, 190 student total. So as of the result, it is really hard to get into this school. It is a pure lottery system. There are 30 spots a year and 90 applications. There is also a waiting list. I haven't figured out how that works with the lottery system. You wonder how we are so lucky to get in?
Steve has put so much effort into getting the children into this school. His hard work did pay off without even see these people face to face. It did take a lot work on both side to reach to where we are at. I told my friends before that I thought I was doing a college application for the boys. Steve did a lot of talk on the phone back and forth to convince them to take the boys. Of course, Woodland Montessori children's house in California also helped us along the way. Both Justin and Darian's teacher had put the words for the boys. With this, MSB still could not make up their mind if they wanted the boys, since they couldn't interview the boys. The final straw was on me. The school was wondering why I was not in the picture, even I was the one doing all the beginning writing on the boys' "college application". They needed to talk to me. So I made the phone call and talked to the school assistant Carol. Now we are here. I finally realize that we are lucky to get in as everyone is telling us. So it meant to be then. With Steve getting a job here and boys are accepted into a lottery only school, we should really appreciate our choices and make the best out of it.
It is really a beautiful school, which located at half way in a hill (which I don't know the name yet). Each of the classroom has its' own backyard growing things. Then further back of the school is the forest. There was a stream somewhere as well, lots of birds and giant banana slugs (according to Justin, he is really good at finding them). The school is built by private fund and for non-profit. I wonder how that works out for a private school? The school is extramely proud of themselves as a pure Montessori school. They probably should be, since I haven't found another one "purer". They insist that no daycare is provided at school site because they want the kids to have the sense that when they come to school, it is a place to learn. In a way, I understand. The Montessori classroom is so unique that it is hard to have the classroom confused with after school. Since they are non-profit school, it is hard to build more rooms at the site. They had a vision for how many students are enough. They really don't want to be any bigger than they are, 190 student total. So as of the result, it is really hard to get into this school. It is a pure lottery system. There are 30 spots a year and 90 applications. There is also a waiting list. I haven't figured out how that works with the lottery system. You wonder how we are so lucky to get in?
Steve has put so much effort into getting the children into this school. His hard work did pay off without even see these people face to face. It did take a lot work on both side to reach to where we are at. I told my friends before that I thought I was doing a college application for the boys. Steve did a lot of talk on the phone back and forth to convince them to take the boys. Of course, Woodland Montessori children's house in California also helped us along the way. Both Justin and Darian's teacher had put the words for the boys. With this, MSB still could not make up their mind if they wanted the boys, since they couldn't interview the boys. The final straw was on me. The school was wondering why I was not in the picture, even I was the one doing all the beginning writing on the boys' "college application". They needed to talk to me. So I made the phone call and talked to the school assistant Carol. Now we are here. I finally realize that we are lucky to get in as everyone is telling us. So it meant to be then. With Steve getting a job here and boys are accepted into a lottery only school, we should really appreciate our choices and make the best out of it.
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