This summer has been the coldest summer since I remember. It may sound like a surprise to you. After all, no one would say Portland is a cold place especially during summer. After 8 month of rains, people really love to enjoy the summer weather in Portland. However, it actually happened to me that the summer is quite cold.
The unexpected long raining season is the first reason of a cold summer. Everyone in Oregon who realized that I just moved here last Sept told me that the rain will stop once June comes. Oh, how they were wrong. This summer it rained till July. I was cold everyday in June hoping that summer would come soon. Finally by July, the rain sort of stopped. I was excited. Finally summer has arrived in Portland! But my feeling of being cold did not go away.
The busy schedule at work made summer a cold one. Right after July 4th, I became quite busy. I stayed in the lab from July 11th on till the end of July. Everyday I would go to work early and come home quite late. The first week of July 11th, several days I did not get to home till 10 pm. So all I see was lab, work, and a bit sky outside the lab. The worst part of the whole thing was that where I sit in the lab was really cold. Since there are servers in the lab, the lab is made exceptionally cold to cool down the servers. For me, it was like winter. Everyday I had three layers of clothes on. How can summer be any colder than this?
Summer time should a great time to bike, unless you are only biking at early morning and later of the evening. This summer my parents came over to help me out to take care of the kids. They stayed between July to first week of August. It had make such a difference to me, since I was really busy at work. My parents needed the car to drop and pick up the kids, I ended up not have a car to drive. You may be wondering what about the truck. Well, let's not talk about that here. So, like many Oregonians do in the summer, I picked up my bike and started bike to and from work everyday. I don't have a very good bike. As matter of fact, every person who was biking on the road passed me while I was biking to and from work. This is when I experience the cold summer. Every morning, before I got on my bike, I was already feeling the cold wind. I don't recall any day that I did not have my bike jacket on before biking. Since I did not come home early. I biked home late as well. After more than one month of biking. I did not even get any sun tan. I am still very pale skinned. Lucky me, at least, I don't have to worry about skin cancer.
The truth is that Portland summer is a bit like Kunming, where I was born. Kunming was called Spring City of China, because it was never too hot, never very cold. I remember that when I was a little girl, I wanted to wear skirt during summer. But the weather was too cold for it. My parents always made sure I had long pants under the skirt. Now I am in Portland. I stared at my skirts in my closet the whole summer. I really never had a chance to ware them. I saw at work many women put skirts on. I have to admire their ability to handle the "cool weather". The other day I was looking at my kids' shorts. After we moved here, Justin wanted me to get rid of his shorts. He claimed that he would not need them any more. I thought well they would still wear them during summer. My kids never did the whole summer. Of course, there are people all over the place wearing summer clothes. It reminded me back in Alaska, when the weather was 32F, you would see some students put shorts on. Everything is relative. Remember we came from Sacramento, a place that reaches over 100 F many days per summer. How can you compare that with Portland?
Don't give me wrong. My kids actually got sun burn this summer. Justin got really bad sun burn. He was in lots of pain. It took him days and one layer of skin on his back to feel better. I hope that he will never forget this. The fact is that if you are in Portland during summer, you have to be outside the door to get that sun shining on you. A person like me is the reason of being cold all the time. You wonder after 5 weeks of biking how I felt? Biking does not give me the soreness like boot camp. boot camp is still number one on the exercise list.
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
An Important Day
I probably have done one of the most important things a person can do for herself in her life time last weekend. I have committed something. I have accepted Jesus as my savior and became a Christian. It was on December 5, 2010.
Many people probably would ask me why now? After all, I have been to The Gathering for many years. Why did’nt I accept Jesus then, since I was actively involved in the church? I can't really explain that. The only thing I can say is that I have come a long way. Over the years, I listened to Pastor Ron's sermons and pondered on many things he talked about. I know that I have changed a lot since my family and I have been committed to the Gathering. The more I listened, the more I learned. I know that I want to do the right things as what Jesus was asking people to do. However, I was not interested about the religion. It sounds like a conflict. How could one accept Jesus' saying, but not accepting the religion. For me, it is easy. Ron often talked about the difference between faith and religion. For me, religion is something people join to tell everyone that they are part of some collective. Faith is personal. It is within you. One has to struggle forever. So I struggled. There were so many things I did not understand. There were so many things I could not comprehend. Worst of all, there are still a lot things I don’t get. Then what changed?
It has started with my work life. Since Steve started working at Oregon, I have become a "commuter". My job function, my co-workers, and my bosses are in Folsom. I take Intel shuttle to Folsom sometimes once a week, sometimes every other week for a day. On the day I go, I get up before 5 am and get to the airport by 5:30 am. I will fly out at 6 am and get to Folsom around 8 am. So every time I go, it makes a long day and very tiring. Since Portland area rains a lot, when I get on the airplane, most of the time the weather is either cloudy or raining. One day during one of these routine flights, it was a cloudy day. It took the airplane a while to climb up all the way out of the clouds. All of sudden, we were above all the thick white clouds. The sky was crystal clear and calm. It was so pretty to see. We were above the sea of clouds and one could see the clouds moving below us. After a while, the sun started to come out. It was the most beautiful sunrise I have ever encountered. The sun rose from the horizon, touched the clouds. The sunlight reflected on the clouds. All of sudden, the clouds were golden. The sunlight spread through the clouds. I was pretty sure our airplane was also bathed in the sunlight. A moment ago, we were in the darkness and gloomy all around. A moment later, I saw this most beautiful sunrise, which made all the travel worth a while. This is faith! It is not religion. It is faith! When one is in trouble; when one does not know where to go and how things are going to turn out; we always have to remember the light is at the end of the tunnel. So I decided not only I will try to do what Jesus asked me to do, but also follow him all my heart and all my mind.
I also have the influence from Solid Rock. After we visited several churches around Beaverton, I have decided to stay in Solid Rock for a while. Like everyone else, I go there because of the teaching. I don't think that I have heard any more blunt talk about Christian faith than John Mark at Solid Rock. He has no problem to call the Christians hypocrites. He criticizes the things Christians don't do. He said Jesus did not point his fingers at the people who were not God believers. Jesus often pointed his fingers at the people who claimed that they were God followers. If you were God followers, why are you not doing God's bidding? The thing is that people did not get turned off by John Mark’s criticism. The people at the church want to hear more what he says about God, Jesus, and what they can do to be a better person. I wonder if it is part of the why within such a short time, Solid Rock has grown to be such a big church. I know that I want to do better. Jesus says "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself." Who can truly reach that?
Many people probably would ask me why now? After all, I have been to The Gathering for many years. Why did’nt I accept Jesus then, since I was actively involved in the church? I can't really explain that. The only thing I can say is that I have come a long way. Over the years, I listened to Pastor Ron's sermons and pondered on many things he talked about. I know that I have changed a lot since my family and I have been committed to the Gathering. The more I listened, the more I learned. I know that I want to do the right things as what Jesus was asking people to do. However, I was not interested about the religion. It sounds like a conflict. How could one accept Jesus' saying, but not accepting the religion. For me, it is easy. Ron often talked about the difference between faith and religion. For me, religion is something people join to tell everyone that they are part of some collective. Faith is personal. It is within you. One has to struggle forever. So I struggled. There were so many things I did not understand. There were so many things I could not comprehend. Worst of all, there are still a lot things I don’t get. Then what changed?
It has started with my work life. Since Steve started working at Oregon, I have become a "commuter". My job function, my co-workers, and my bosses are in Folsom. I take Intel shuttle to Folsom sometimes once a week, sometimes every other week for a day. On the day I go, I get up before 5 am and get to the airport by 5:30 am. I will fly out at 6 am and get to Folsom around 8 am. So every time I go, it makes a long day and very tiring. Since Portland area rains a lot, when I get on the airplane, most of the time the weather is either cloudy or raining. One day during one of these routine flights, it was a cloudy day. It took the airplane a while to climb up all the way out of the clouds. All of sudden, we were above all the thick white clouds. The sky was crystal clear and calm. It was so pretty to see. We were above the sea of clouds and one could see the clouds moving below us. After a while, the sun started to come out. It was the most beautiful sunrise I have ever encountered. The sun rose from the horizon, touched the clouds. The sunlight reflected on the clouds. All of sudden, the clouds were golden. The sunlight spread through the clouds. I was pretty sure our airplane was also bathed in the sunlight. A moment ago, we were in the darkness and gloomy all around. A moment later, I saw this most beautiful sunrise, which made all the travel worth a while. This is faith! It is not religion. It is faith! When one is in trouble; when one does not know where to go and how things are going to turn out; we always have to remember the light is at the end of the tunnel. So I decided not only I will try to do what Jesus asked me to do, but also follow him all my heart and all my mind.
I also have the influence from Solid Rock. After we visited several churches around Beaverton, I have decided to stay in Solid Rock for a while. Like everyone else, I go there because of the teaching. I don't think that I have heard any more blunt talk about Christian faith than John Mark at Solid Rock. He has no problem to call the Christians hypocrites. He criticizes the things Christians don't do. He said Jesus did not point his fingers at the people who were not God believers. Jesus often pointed his fingers at the people who claimed that they were God followers. If you were God followers, why are you not doing God's bidding? The thing is that people did not get turned off by John Mark’s criticism. The people at the church want to hear more what he says about God, Jesus, and what they can do to be a better person. I wonder if it is part of the why within such a short time, Solid Rock has grown to be such a big church. I know that I want to do better. Jesus says "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself." Who can truly reach that?
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Solid Rock Again - Church Searching
Last weekend, we went on for a short hike again. This was our third time to go to the Forest Park, which is the big forest between Beaverton and Portland. The second time when we went there, we got rained on. The good thing was that we had 2 umbrellas. Darian got one and I got one. Justin had his rain coat. Steve as usual, stayed in the rain. Even in the rain, the forest was so beautiful. The mist came up and the rain washed the leaves. I have always loved the rain. watching the children playing in the rain, always remained me how I did the same when I was a child.
Last weekend, it was a sunny day when we went for the hike. I love the fall weather. The air smelled so fresh and one could smell the fragrant from the trees. The leaves turned the color and were falling. The whole forest floor was covered by the yellow and red leaves. Right after one whole night's rain, the trail was very muddy. Steve got his new trail run shoes. He was running back and forth between the hiking trails, kids and I. The kids were playing in the mud puddle anywhere they could find. I was walking behind everyone. The forest was so quiet with so few people around. I felt so free and happy under the Sun. I was thinking about my work (can't help it. I am awfully busy at work) and life in Oregon. I thought about the churches we have been to since we came to Oregon. So far we have been to quite several churches. Here is the list:
- Oak Park Church (don't recall the actual name)
- Solid Rock
- Beaverton Four Square
- Sonrise Church
- Church of Nazarene
- Rock Creek Four Square
Some churches we went only went one time. Some churches we went a couple times or more. Beaverton Four Square is a really big church. Justin likes it because the children]s program made him laugh. Sonrise, we were there the week they had a pastor from Uganda to preach about Mission Africa. So we never really heard any preaching from its pastor yet. Church of Nazarene is reasonably small. They have a round building with a sharp roof that looks like a big tent. It has very beautiful and very big long wood beams. It is very unique. However, I did not like the people. Then Rock Creek Four Square, a small church within very short walking distance from where we live. Steve laughed that we went furthest church first, then closet one last, which is opposite from common ways.
For some reason, we felt that more people in Oregon go to Church than the people in California. There are so many big churches with so many members. Since I have only been to the Gathering, I really don't have much to compare to. I guess in a way, if it is a big church, people tend to know the names.
I had to admit that I miss Solid Rock. I miss the preaching. I never "shopped" around for churches. This time I am doing it. I felt the difference between the church preachings. Steve has no such strong feelings. From his perspective, all churches are saying the same thing to him. Each person seeking different things from church. I love the "lecture" style. Due to many young people go to Solid Rock. The preaching is more target to the young audience. The preachor's style is a lot more like college instructor. In the past 7 weeks, he has been on the book of Corinthians. We are only on Chapter 3, the first several lines. Every sense was read and everything was analyzed. It is not just about what Paul had said, and why he was saying it. the preaching also includes who Paul was; what he was doing in the city of Corin; how he became Paul, the apostle. Everything was so detailed. I am learning the history, the people and Bible.
So where are we going from here? Since Solid Rock is so huge, they have lots of house churches that meet in someone's house over the week days. That probably the only way to meet people. If we want to know more about the church, we have to find a house church to go to. I think that we are going to spend some time to explore Solid Rock. Like most of the things, I don't know if Solid Rock is some place I want to stay. As for now, the preaching is good. I like the learning. I like the "lecture". I just can't handle how huge this church is.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Ten Minutes Rule
Yesterday we finally made out to our first Oregon outdoor "adventure" after a month of living here. We went for a small hike. It was raining, not the big rain, the kind of rain Portland probably has all the time during winter. Walking into the forest, I felt that I was actually in the novel Twilight (read the first book, abandon the rest, you may still have happy thoughts). Everything was wet. When the wind came, the tree would shake all the water down. Then you would have rain water all over your face and head. Otherwise, the trees blocked most of the water. You wouldn't feel that it was raining. The mist covered half of the hill. When you looked down toward Portland direction, everything was covered in the mist.
The two boys each had an umbrella in hands. They waved the umbrellas back and forth, flipped it inside out and outside in, like two octopus swimming in the sea. The forest was quiet. Along the way, we saw 3 bicylist. Apparently, if you took the wide road through the forest, you could bike all the way to Portland. As usual, Justin found a banana slug and put on my car. The poor thing was so panic, that it pooped on my car. Why boys love yakie things or it was my expression that Justin was after?
Back in the forest, I was thinking how our lives have changed. If there is a psychology book on analyzing the stages of what people go through when they move from one place to another, I am probably in the stage that is called comparing stage. I compare everything here to my Sacramento home. I even made up a rule called 10 minutes rule. When I was in Sacramento, it took me at least 40 minutes or longer to get to work or home per one way. Now it takes me 10 minutes to get to work from where we rent the place. It took Steve 30 to 40 minutes to send the kids to school to Woodland. Now it takes him about 10 minutes. I started to send the kids to Chinese school to learn Chinese on Saturday morning. Why? Because it takes me about 10 minutes to get to school. Back in Sacramento, I had to drive all the way to South Sacramento for that. So I never did it. When I lived in Sacramento, every weekend, I would go to the farmers' market to get my fresh vegetables, which it took me about 15 minutes to drive to Broadway. Now, I don't do that any more even there is a farmers' market in Beaverton. First of all, there is no Asian fresh vegetable at the farmers' market. Even I go to the Farmers' market (once), I don't get my beloved Asian vegetables, no to mention the price for "fresh" is so high here. Second, as you guessed, it takes more than 10 minutes to get there. Here within 10 minutes, I could go to Winco, Fred Meyer, Trader Joe's, Safeway, or Albertson. People become lazy when everything seems just shrinked to 5 to 6 miles of radius. As for this hiking trip, the 10 minutes rule may not apply, but I don't think it took us longer than 15 minutes to get here. If it did take longer, mainly due to the husband did not know which one was the right entrance. If we were in Sacramento, we probably had to drive over an hour to find a spot for hiking.
I was walking in the forest, in the mist, imagine if a terrible good look vampire may show up (haha). Everything was beautiful, so picture like. However, I had to admit that I missed Sacramento terribly. I missed my old life because I already had habits that were built up. I knew everything around me. I had friends at work, friends at home, friends at the Club to take exercise class with. I liked what I was doing at work, my co-workers were wonderful. I never knew how the Gathering made me so comfortable. I know years from now, I am going to laugh about this my self made comparing stage theory. Where we live is a beautify place: the green, the hills, the rain, and my 10 minutes rules (heehee). Sorry, still don't know much about Portland, since it is half hour away. Someday, we will make to the Columbia river. As for now, I would just stand in the forest in Beaverton, looking at Portland through mist, which couldn't see anything much.
The two boys each had an umbrella in hands. They waved the umbrellas back and forth, flipped it inside out and outside in, like two octopus swimming in the sea. The forest was quiet. Along the way, we saw 3 bicylist. Apparently, if you took the wide road through the forest, you could bike all the way to Portland. As usual, Justin found a banana slug and put on my car. The poor thing was so panic, that it pooped on my car. Why boys love yakie things or it was my expression that Justin was after?
Back in the forest, I was thinking how our lives have changed. If there is a psychology book on analyzing the stages of what people go through when they move from one place to another, I am probably in the stage that is called comparing stage. I compare everything here to my Sacramento home. I even made up a rule called 10 minutes rule. When I was in Sacramento, it took me at least 40 minutes or longer to get to work or home per one way. Now it takes me 10 minutes to get to work from where we rent the place. It took Steve 30 to 40 minutes to send the kids to school to Woodland. Now it takes him about 10 minutes. I started to send the kids to Chinese school to learn Chinese on Saturday morning. Why? Because it takes me about 10 minutes to get to school. Back in Sacramento, I had to drive all the way to South Sacramento for that. So I never did it. When I lived in Sacramento, every weekend, I would go to the farmers' market to get my fresh vegetables, which it took me about 15 minutes to drive to Broadway. Now, I don't do that any more even there is a farmers' market in Beaverton. First of all, there is no Asian fresh vegetable at the farmers' market. Even I go to the Farmers' market (once), I don't get my beloved Asian vegetables, no to mention the price for "fresh" is so high here. Second, as you guessed, it takes more than 10 minutes to get there. Here within 10 minutes, I could go to Winco, Fred Meyer, Trader Joe's, Safeway, or Albertson. People become lazy when everything seems just shrinked to 5 to 6 miles of radius. As for this hiking trip, the 10 minutes rule may not apply, but I don't think it took us longer than 15 minutes to get here. If it did take longer, mainly due to the husband did not know which one was the right entrance. If we were in Sacramento, we probably had to drive over an hour to find a spot for hiking.
I was walking in the forest, in the mist, imagine if a terrible good look vampire may show up (haha). Everything was beautiful, so picture like. However, I had to admit that I missed Sacramento terribly. I missed my old life because I already had habits that were built up. I knew everything around me. I had friends at work, friends at home, friends at the Club to take exercise class with. I liked what I was doing at work, my co-workers were wonderful. I never knew how the Gathering made me so comfortable. I know years from now, I am going to laugh about this my self made comparing stage theory. Where we live is a beautify place: the green, the hills, the rain, and my 10 minutes rules (heehee). Sorry, still don't know much about Portland, since it is half hour away. Someday, we will make to the Columbia river. As for now, I would just stand in the forest in Beaverton, looking at Portland through mist, which couldn't see anything much.
Monday, October 4, 2010
Searching for church 2 - Solid Rock
Solid Rock has a reputation with me. Before I came to Oregon, my friend Shelley has sent me the Sermon via mail. Then when Erin from Dave's church - Bridge of Life knew we were going to move to Oregon, she also said to us that a friend of hers love Solid Rock very much. So on the third weekend after we arrived Hillsboro, Shelley took us there. Well, she did not really take us, since she had a friend to visit her from California that weekend. So she told me the address and promise to meet me there. She repeated several times to tell me to arrive early and help her to get 5 seats as well. "Because if you don't go there early, you have to stand" she said. I had a hard time to imagine. However, it was true.
Solid Rock has 4 sermons on Sunday: 8 am, 10 am, 12 pm, and 6 pm. It also has one on Saturday in Portland as well. The popular time are very full, such as 10 am and 12 pm. It has more than 5000 members. The church is located in a business office area, a little bit like the Gathering's office building, except it is at the end of the drive. One way in and one way out. The traffic is very very bad. The parking is hard to find. There are people there to direct traffic. People are everywhere.
When you got inside the door, you felt that you were at the entrance of a movie theater, except there were lots of food, juice, and coffee on some big tables. There are many big double doors to get into the hall. One feels like coming to a rock concert than anything else. We had a hard time to find seat; however, we did manage to sit with Shelley's family and her friends. When the music started, you really felt that you were in a rock music concert. It was so professional. Shelley said they have many bands come to sing because so many bands want to sing here. Here everything is packed. I don't think there are many empty seats. The kids were sent to the proper age group. Everything is so organized and everything is so pleasant, except there are so many people. We had to wait in line to get Justin and Darian back.
When I look at Solid Rock, I think about Ron. The music, the sound system, the surrounding, they all have the idea how Ron would like the Gathering to be. No one hands you a basket and there are Bibles all over the place for your connivance to take one and follow the sermon. I have to admit I am really impressed about Solid Rock. According to Shelley, within 4-5 years, Solid Rock has grown to this big church. It was intended for young people. They want the kids not leave Christianity after leave home and going to college. That is why the music is so strong and there are many young people program within the church. Shelley is very grateful to Solid Rock because she feels that her child has matured over the years coming to this church. Of course, the sermon so far is very good as well. We are on 1 Corinthians. The among of background matches my desire to learn the history behind of everything. The message is so clear and simple. I get to know so much about Paul.
So did I find a church I like? Yes, I did. Would I consider this is it? No, because I can't handle its size. Here, everything takes extra time. Of course, don't think about going to bathroom. We can't just get our kids because we have to wait in line. We can't get out the parking lot, because one way in and one way out. The second week when we went there, the traffic light were out. Boy, can you imagine the pain everyone was going through? Justin has decided after 2 visits, he does not like Solid Rock for one reason only, too many people. I don't know what to do yet. One thing for sure, I know I like the sermons a lot. Here is Solid Rock website: http://www.ajesuschurch.org/info/church-info/
Let me know what you think about the sermon. Next time: another big church in OR we visited last weekend.
Solid Rock has 4 sermons on Sunday: 8 am, 10 am, 12 pm, and 6 pm. It also has one on Saturday in Portland as well. The popular time are very full, such as 10 am and 12 pm. It has more than 5000 members. The church is located in a business office area, a little bit like the Gathering's office building, except it is at the end of the drive. One way in and one way out. The traffic is very very bad. The parking is hard to find. There are people there to direct traffic. People are everywhere.
When you got inside the door, you felt that you were at the entrance of a movie theater, except there were lots of food, juice, and coffee on some big tables. There are many big double doors to get into the hall. One feels like coming to a rock concert than anything else. We had a hard time to find seat; however, we did manage to sit with Shelley's family and her friends. When the music started, you really felt that you were in a rock music concert. It was so professional. Shelley said they have many bands come to sing because so many bands want to sing here. Here everything is packed. I don't think there are many empty seats. The kids were sent to the proper age group. Everything is so organized and everything is so pleasant, except there are so many people. We had to wait in line to get Justin and Darian back.
When I look at Solid Rock, I think about Ron. The music, the sound system, the surrounding, they all have the idea how Ron would like the Gathering to be. No one hands you a basket and there are Bibles all over the place for your connivance to take one and follow the sermon. I have to admit I am really impressed about Solid Rock. According to Shelley, within 4-5 years, Solid Rock has grown to this big church. It was intended for young people. They want the kids not leave Christianity after leave home and going to college. That is why the music is so strong and there are many young people program within the church. Shelley is very grateful to Solid Rock because she feels that her child has matured over the years coming to this church. Of course, the sermon so far is very good as well. We are on 1 Corinthians. The among of background matches my desire to learn the history behind of everything. The message is so clear and simple. I get to know so much about Paul.
So did I find a church I like? Yes, I did. Would I consider this is it? No, because I can't handle its size. Here, everything takes extra time. Of course, don't think about going to bathroom. We can't just get our kids because we have to wait in line. We can't get out the parking lot, because one way in and one way out. The second week when we went there, the traffic light were out. Boy, can you imagine the pain everyone was going through? Justin has decided after 2 visits, he does not like Solid Rock for one reason only, too many people. I don't know what to do yet. One thing for sure, I know I like the sermons a lot. Here is Solid Rock website: http://www.ajesuschurch.org/info/church-info/
Let me know what you think about the sermon. Next time: another big church in OR we visited last weekend.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
First Week back to Work
I went back to work this week after taking almost 2 weeks off for moving from California to Oregon. Going back to work actually was harder than I thought.
It was not because of the office location. It did not take me too long to find my office. I had been to Oregon site a couple times before to support the last platform my group built. Although it had been a couple years back, once I was in the parking lot, some of the stuff started to come back. In addition, it was always easy to follow the flow. If you saw someone walking certain directions, it was not too far from where you needed to go as well.
It was not because my stuff was not there to wait for me in my cube. I sort of expected it. After all, it was my first day. It did took me a while to locate them. I almost had to call Sacramento to ask the shipping where they sent the stuff. The admin was helpful enough to have another man to help me to move all my boxes to my cube. Finally I was back to the cubical life. A small cube among strangers. After the computers were turned on, that is when my real stress started.
The stress came from my work. After all, I haven't touched my stuff for almost 2 weeks. I was behind. I was not just a little bit behind the schedule. I was very much behind. Everyday, I arrived at work before 8 and forced to leave after 5, since I needed to pick kids up from the expensive childcare. Then I would work from at least between 9 - 12 if not more. Come to think about it, if I did not get the childcare taking care of, I would be in even bigger trouble. With my working "ethic" getting better, my tempter got worse. Small things at home got me every time. Steve is also very busy. He is behind of his schedule. Why I am not surprised? At Intel, it seems everyone is always trying to catch up. But my question was who should do more things at home?
Sometimes I wonder why I go to work. Of course, as usual, there are many reasons. When I was young, it was because I thought that women can be as a good of an engineer as men; because I could do it. Then I had children, I wondered if I should quite, because it was so hard to be tired all the time. However, when I realized that taking care of a baby was so much work, I decided being a working woman was easier. I always admit to people that stay home moms have harder job because they almost never have their own time.
This week because I was so stressed out from work, because I had no friend to talk to, I understood one thing. Friendship makes a world difference in one's life. I truly understood why Shannon did not want to move away. It is so hard to live in a place that you have none of your familiar people that you talk to all the time. I miss all my friends so much! I miss my routine life, my boot camp classes, everything I had set to do everyday. Steve looked at me and said that we could pack back up and move back. haha... I know that he was joking, but it was not funny. I understood why I have to work. I met my two long lasting friends at work: Vicky and Nancy. I was IMing my friend Vicky yesterday. She moved to Boston back 2002 when Intel was trying to lay her off. She still remembered her loneliness when she just moved there in the middle of winter. That was so many years ago. Nancy said to me that she still remembered many years ago, the first time Vicky and her saw me outside Level One parking lot, we were meant to be friends. We laughed about that a lot, because it was the day I went to interview with Level One and they had fire drill. Nancy and Vicky were standing at the parking lot eying me. We were young and none of us were married. Nancy did not want me to forget about it when I left Sacramento. I won't...
It was not because of the office location. It did not take me too long to find my office. I had been to Oregon site a couple times before to support the last platform my group built. Although it had been a couple years back, once I was in the parking lot, some of the stuff started to come back. In addition, it was always easy to follow the flow. If you saw someone walking certain directions, it was not too far from where you needed to go as well.
It was not because my stuff was not there to wait for me in my cube. I sort of expected it. After all, it was my first day. It did took me a while to locate them. I almost had to call Sacramento to ask the shipping where they sent the stuff. The admin was helpful enough to have another man to help me to move all my boxes to my cube. Finally I was back to the cubical life. A small cube among strangers. After the computers were turned on, that is when my real stress started.
The stress came from my work. After all, I haven't touched my stuff for almost 2 weeks. I was behind. I was not just a little bit behind the schedule. I was very much behind. Everyday, I arrived at work before 8 and forced to leave after 5, since I needed to pick kids up from the expensive childcare. Then I would work from at least between 9 - 12 if not more. Come to think about it, if I did not get the childcare taking care of, I would be in even bigger trouble. With my working "ethic" getting better, my tempter got worse. Small things at home got me every time. Steve is also very busy. He is behind of his schedule. Why I am not surprised? At Intel, it seems everyone is always trying to catch up. But my question was who should do more things at home?
Sometimes I wonder why I go to work. Of course, as usual, there are many reasons. When I was young, it was because I thought that women can be as a good of an engineer as men; because I could do it. Then I had children, I wondered if I should quite, because it was so hard to be tired all the time. However, when I realized that taking care of a baby was so much work, I decided being a working woman was easier. I always admit to people that stay home moms have harder job because they almost never have their own time.
This week because I was so stressed out from work, because I had no friend to talk to, I understood one thing. Friendship makes a world difference in one's life. I truly understood why Shannon did not want to move away. It is so hard to live in a place that you have none of your familiar people that you talk to all the time. I miss all my friends so much! I miss my routine life, my boot camp classes, everything I had set to do everyday. Steve looked at me and said that we could pack back up and move back. haha... I know that he was joking, but it was not funny. I understood why I have to work. I met my two long lasting friends at work: Vicky and Nancy. I was IMing my friend Vicky yesterday. She moved to Boston back 2002 when Intel was trying to lay her off. She still remembered her loneliness when she just moved there in the middle of winter. That was so many years ago. Nancy said to me that she still remembered many years ago, the first time Vicky and her saw me outside Level One parking lot, we were meant to be friends. We laughed about that a lot, because it was the day I went to interview with Level One and they had fire drill. Nancy and Vicky were standing at the parking lot eying me. We were young and none of us were married. Nancy did not want me to forget about it when I left Sacramento. I won't...
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Searching for church 1
Since we have arrived for a week, Steve was ready to find a church for us and the kids. This morning we went to visit this church at Oak Hill. Maybe it is called Oak Hill church or Church of Oak Hill. The pastor is someone Ron knows and asked him to check on us. Thank you, Ron for thinking about us. The place is a church, not a rented school or theater, with long uncomfortable wooden benches, Bible behind the benches for people to access. It reminded me the Catholic church I went several times with Madeline, my host mother in Alaska.
It was a very traditional church. Today's message was about fear God. We were late as usual... The church started at 9:30 am. It is awfully early for the Bruss family. So we missed their morning social, if they had any. We searched for the place for kids to go and discovered that besides infants, kids that younger than 2nd grade will come after the announcement, the rest of the kids stay with adults. The kids were bored. Darian was happy when he was called away. Justin did not know what to do with himself the whole time. I don't think he heard a thing from the pastor.
We were guided to a place to sit. I looked around. The church was reasonable sized and with lots of windows on both sides. On the left side, there was a kids play place. On the left side, there was a big park. Today the Sun was shinning, a very good day to be out. All of sudden, it came to me that I no longer sitting in the comfortable seat of a theater with people that I know so well. There is no cup holder that Ron is so proud of. I was sitting in a strange place with all the strangers around me. The feeling was so overwhelming that I did not know how to handle it. I was upset. I disliked this church and disliked everything about this church. The songs were so formal that I did not feel much. The preaching was so scripture like that I could have read it myself.
Afterwards, I was so unhappy that I could not stop complaining to Steve. What made me even more upset was that Steve did not feel how I felt. Yes, there were things he dislike, such as Justin was bored to death. However, he did not have so much things again the church. Why men are so different from women?
Apparently it is a shared church. After their session, they have to move out to allow a Korean church to prepare for their stuff. All of sudden among the white color people (did I tell you it was all white people church?), yellow color people started to show up a little bit at time. The funny part was they ignored the whole church members. When they saw me, they nodded their heads as how they were greeting each other. So I had to nod my head a lot. So finally I had to leave the church because I don't want to be mistaken as a Korean (can't speak the langurage). I also did not want to be impolite when people were nodding heads towards me. It is true people feel so much more comfortable with their own kind. I even can pretend to be a Korean once for a while.
It was a very traditional church. Today's message was about fear God. We were late as usual... The church started at 9:30 am. It is awfully early for the Bruss family. So we missed their morning social, if they had any. We searched for the place for kids to go and discovered that besides infants, kids that younger than 2nd grade will come after the announcement, the rest of the kids stay with adults. The kids were bored. Darian was happy when he was called away. Justin did not know what to do with himself the whole time. I don't think he heard a thing from the pastor.
We were guided to a place to sit. I looked around. The church was reasonable sized and with lots of windows on both sides. On the left side, there was a kids play place. On the left side, there was a big park. Today the Sun was shinning, a very good day to be out. All of sudden, it came to me that I no longer sitting in the comfortable seat of a theater with people that I know so well. There is no cup holder that Ron is so proud of. I was sitting in a strange place with all the strangers around me. The feeling was so overwhelming that I did not know how to handle it. I was upset. I disliked this church and disliked everything about this church. The songs were so formal that I did not feel much. The preaching was so scripture like that I could have read it myself.
Afterwards, I was so unhappy that I could not stop complaining to Steve. What made me even more upset was that Steve did not feel how I felt. Yes, there were things he dislike, such as Justin was bored to death. However, he did not have so much things again the church. Why men are so different from women?
Apparently it is a shared church. After their session, they have to move out to allow a Korean church to prepare for their stuff. All of sudden among the white color people (did I tell you it was all white people church?), yellow color people started to show up a little bit at time. The funny part was they ignored the whole church members. When they saw me, they nodded their heads as how they were greeting each other. So I had to nod my head a lot. So finally I had to leave the church because I don't want to be mistaken as a Korean (can't speak the langurage). I also did not want to be impolite when people were nodding heads towards me. It is true people feel so much more comfortable with their own kind. I even can pretend to be a Korean once for a while.
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